forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
