u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
