White coat. Heels.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize