just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
