if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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