her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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