Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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