So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
