She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
