He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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