You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
