Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
