I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
