Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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