And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
