Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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