I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
