No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
