that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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