Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
