yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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