Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
