So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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