Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
