She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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