I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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