Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
