Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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