i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
