It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i now understand why vodka
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
