I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
