i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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