so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize