And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
