I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
