I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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