I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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