Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
