You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
