so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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