put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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