she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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