you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
