dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
