you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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