Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize