So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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