I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
