I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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