exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
