actually, I'm a sock model
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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