If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
