Don't make out with my wife yet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
