So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
