who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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