I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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