I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
where does the pee come out of this thing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
