i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
