I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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