you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
