imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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