i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
