My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
