Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize