It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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