It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Drunk is not a location!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
