another moral hangover. fuck.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize